


Ambient Noise

by queerfanwrites



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Coping Mechanisms, Drabble, Drinking, Insomnia, Multi, Post-Episode: s07e25 Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager), but only vaguely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerfanwrites/pseuds/queerfanwrites
Summary: A small fic on how Janeway copes with being back on Earth after Endgame. Specifically, how she battles the loss of that constant hum that seems to always be there on Voyager (hint, it's a small part of some much bigger problems that she doesn't really know how to cope with).This summary makes it sound a lot more depressing than it actually is.Zero mentions of Chakotay and that whole thing from Endgame, but a few sentences on Mark.
Relationships: Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	Ambient Noise

It took a while for Janeway to understand why everything felt so odd, once Voyager had made it home and everyone had disembarked, ready for debriefing. Finally it dawned on her, there was no comforting hum of the ship surrounding her. The sound that had kept her up for almost a week during her first posting and had kept her company for the last seven years was suddenly absent. 

She started finding reasons to fill the silence, playing music or leaving the TV on in the background. She found excuses to not be alone as much as possible. She told herself she’d get over it eventually, go back to her usual enjoyment of the quiet moments, but whenever she tried, she found herself tense and poised as if ready for an interruption that would never come. 

Counsellor Troi had told her some things like this were to be expected while she was adjusting back to life on Earth. She said not to try to rush to get everything back to normal, it would fall into place in time. Janeway was unconvinced.

The silence was most unbearable at night. The combination of insomnia due to the lack of the engine hum and the vivid nightmares that came with the eventual sleep she did get meant that Janeway had begun to avoid going to bed altogether. Once coffee was no longer enough to keep her awake, she changed tactics, hoping a drink or two would put her out enough to avoid the nightmares. But that didn’t last either. So she took her tactic for avoiding the silence to bed, namely whatever company she could convince to spend the night with her.

The first was her sister. Phoebe had come to visit while Janeway was stuck in San Francisco dealing with Starfleet and looking out for Voyager’s crew as they re-settled. It was really only a suggestion of comfort, since the other option was the couch in Janeway’s living quarters, and the sisters were somewhat used to sharing a room growing up together. But it led to one of the best night’s sleep Janeway had had in months.

What followed were a series of ill-advised hook-ups borne of seven years of building frustration and loneliness that, while alleviating her fatigue, only served to bring attention to her problems. She even stepped over the line with Mark, her ex-fiance, when he came to town without his wife. That one had her throwing up all the alcohol she had consumed the night before when she woke up with his arm wrapped around her.

To add insult to injury, a small, informal reunion of the Voyager senior staff made it clear how much more settled everyone else had become over the past few months, while Janeway had been… decidedly not settled.

It was the week before she was due to leave for an extended period of absence to her family home in Indiana. They had gathered at Tom and B’elanna’s to celebrate Miral turning three months old. The only one who seemed just as ill at ease as Janeway was Seven, and the two stuck together, taking comfort in their shared discomfort of this life they were building for themselves.

Perhaps Janeway had taken a little too much courage from a bottle of scotch after she suggested a nightcap in her quarters, perhaps the two had been heading towards this for a while. Either way, there was no urge to empty her stomach the morning she found a hand covered in Borg metal resting on her abdomen. There was only the feeling that she had finally had a good night’s sleep. Janeway curled into the warmth of Seven’s body and sighed, content for the first time in far too long.


End file.
